Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Well on a lighter note, guess who just threw up in the elevator
and now that ive poetically compared your vagina to a nuclear missile, I hope youre prepared for this date.
he picked an earring up off the bar floor and tried to give it to girls as a present.
Depending on hangover severity. The fact that I can spell severity is in your favor.
No, I don't not want an upside down piggyback ride. You're drunk and there are rocks.
I wish Samuel L. Jackson would narrate our bar crawls
Also, making a white Russian with butterscotch schnapps instead of vodka is probably the best decision I've made in my entire college career.
My mom just offered to be my designated driver tonight. I love being an adult.
Yeah I would come and meet you but there's 3 polish girls yelling at a drunk polish guy in the carpark outside. They just dumped a whole pizza over his head and I want to see where this ends...
I'm not even 100% sure what it is, but if it involves Thor and Doritos, I'm in
He wants to pour butter pecan flavored coffee creamer on me and lick it off. I'm like, dude, gross. French Vanilla ok? Ugh.
I can't. I mean he's hot, but there's really nothing else there
You just said he's hot
NO YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND
So glad I can hide money in my wallet and drunk me is too stupid to find it. Hangover sushi ftw.
You have such a talent for this
Friendship, or finding weed?
Yes
Randomize
