Yo, my girl thinks she's pregnant, so I've got a DD for the wedding. Sweet.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
in the bathroom helping her wash cum out her eye. pretty much explains my sex life
I know man...but i cant pass up a catholic school girl fantasy
Turned out not to be so bad. He had a big dick and i owed him for all the free beer over the year.
I assume it was your influence that had me go from DD to waking up out on the deck with one eyebrow shaved off??
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
Im also drinking whiskey while on a treadmill wearing high heels so let's consider that for a moment.
What has two arms, one testicle and no credit card debt? This guy.
Romney sounds like a middle school girl and that creepy ass smile makes me want to close my blinds
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
I was about to share my drunken story from the weekend, but two friends getting married and one finding out she's pregnant makes Saturday in jail look a little suspect.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
Of course that's what I'm wearing. I need to find a beard to mount and ride STAT.
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
Randomize
