Let's create a 16 and pregnant drinking game
Get the fuck buddy a birthday present or not? He def deserves one, but how do I explain the debit card charge to my husband?
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
You were discovered in a bush, smoking, and singing "in the jungle" to yourself. Which explains the scratches, but not the orange paint.
he woke me up with all the stuff I had at his house in boxes i had to unwrap my own belongings and he said. Happy v-day its time to see ya day! Worst day ever
On a completely different note: my hookup and i are now in a semester GPA competition. Winner gets froyo and sexual favors. School just got interesting.....
I don't need a lecture. I'm 41. I know I'm an idiot.
I hope you get eaten by satanic starfish.
Are you ok?
They gave me a cat until I fall asleep. His name is fluffy because he's fluffy.
I swear if you get so drunk that I have to sing Bohemian Rhapsody to you again to get you to come out of the bathroom I'm leaving you at the bar this time.
I'm bathroom at buffalo wild wings
I think incapable of making pants work send help
Last night was just a whirlwind of Mario Brothers and sex.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
You know how last week before we left I was drinking outta that blue cup and I left it sitting across the road. Well, it hadn't moved and my family just found it, brought it inside and cleaned it. I think this cup is my soulmate.
I can't decide if I miss drinking or you, they are so closely connected.
Randomize
