I found your undies. They were wrapped around my leg.
We can't ever have kids because there's a chance that they'll end up just like us.
How'd it feel making her break her religion?
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
the tv said "its small, its comfortable..." and i started laughing... safe to say he lost any dignity he had left...
Haha. Last winter I went through this phase where id go to the bars with my own giant goblet and demand to be served white wine and red bull hah
When a guy wants to eat something off you and then comes back with microwaved strudel and custard, back the fuck out. I have apple-chunk burns on my tits.
No but I was fuckin done when I realized my acrylic nail caught fire when I was hitting the bong.
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
Ryan Reynolds is on sesame street right now. Dressed as a letter A but still sexy as fuck. PBS is so considerate of the stay at home mom.
Finally met a man who appreciates my beer pong skills, definitely a keeper for the weekend
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
I need a drink. No, several. I need several drinks. Drunk, I need to be drunk. Definitely need to be drunk
Randomize
