Well i just wrestled a cop... p.s. i won
I have a fruit stripe tattoo on my penis. You're the only person I know who chews that gum.
I got her a Nickelback box set.
i just feel like it would be irresponsible for you to not have sex with me again.
My vagina agrees.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
we are all four or five tequila-induced decisions away from shitting in a bucket, come get me please.
All three of them were helicoptering their dicks to persuade me to take my thong off
I am here to underwhelm you with my vagina
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
My mom just made me promise her that i'll care about the next guy I sleep with
I'm on the same pooping schedule as a professor I've never had. He now says what's up to me in the hallway
Grilled cheese and shark week. Unemployment done right.
Did you fill my inhaler with tequila?
Yeah, so?
We were making eye contact while i was throwing up.
I just made the same noise looking at my salami sandwich as I do hooking up with you.
Randomize
