can you explain to me why you commented on every one of my profile pics with "tits and beer ftw" please and thank you.
The cops found weed in michael jacksons house today...it makes up for the child molesting, I like him more now.
my cat ate my toast this morning while i was getting dressed. i can already tell today is going to suck.
I don't have any food so I made a martini so I could eat the olives. Don't tell me I can't think outside the box.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
Just realized the guy is in my class. Unless there's another guy that had half his ear bit off at a St. Patty's party
Two girls just making out in the elevator. Didn't stop when the doors opened. Part of me didnt mind, but part did. Bc I wanted to get on the elevator without it getting awkward. Am I gay?
No, but I woke up here and my pockets are full of raisins. Like 6 different pockets.
have i crossed some slutty boundary when gay guys are sending me cock pics?
Occasionally I curse my inner 15 year old when I'm fulfilling their dreams as a slut, but I roll with it.
I'll pay you to write the paper but not for sex. You should only get paid for something you work hard at.
I slept with a Brazillian Man, That's why I'm Watching The World Cup
I'm still alive btw, in case you were worried about my well being.
I think I was judged by a squirrel this morning during the walk...
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
Randomize
