is swine flu sexually transmttd?
Ha no, why?
sriously ive never had a hangovr this bad
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
i'm gonna need a rally to restore sobriety after this weekend...
some people offered us free beer as long as we shotgunned it and after you shotgunned four without pausing they took their offer back
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
So after I fell off 4 times we concluded I'm not allowed to ride him anymore.
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
He said I was really mad at him on Friday. Dude I fell asleep in all my clothes and shoes, with my flashlight on, on my phone... I could have been mad at the wall. It wasn't my classiest day.
Let me rub your butt and eat French fries from your mouth and dip them in your ketchup filled belly button.
Nothing quite like the "I had sex you a month ago and now we're stopped at the same 4 way" wave
He met a girl at a stop light and managed to give her his number while driving down the highway.
This wine tastes amazing. It's like a fermented hug.
As a paramedic, it's completely unacceptable to black out on a monday. I cant handle 3 dollar shot night.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Let’s be real here. NOTHING says Real Adulting like rolling a J on your line of credit paperwork.
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