Ok never mind. Thought i pooped my pants for a second. False alarm.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
He said something pertaining to Ragu and vodka I'm worried
My parents just suggested that we tailgate the midnight christmas service. this is my gene pool.
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
It's just one of those nights that , as long as you have the drugs, everything is going to be alright.
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
She's posted my bail. Twice. Of course I'm going to be her wing girl.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
I should never be allowed to dance around children at weddings. I think I just insured that a 4 year old will be a future teen mom.
Got caught peeing in public. Sucks. It was a police station. Sucks worse.
Dude!! Who the fuck glued Cheetos to my couch? Bastards!!
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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