What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
every time i drive by the road she lives on, i scream in the car "i'm sorry i'm sleeping with your boyfriend!" makes me feel less whore-y.
Just rolled over and found your boyfriend in bed with me. Is mine at your house?
Sometimes when I see a shoe on the side of the road, I get a little depressed that I've never partied that hard.
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
For the first time ever I'll be using my lunch break to pass out cold on my desk. We've gotta stop having these late night drinking things on Sundays
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
He started screaming when he saw my dog. He thought it was a polar bear
it was like fucking a Mumford & Sons song
I'm a dude in a dress, who came to a party with Holly GoLightly, got hit on by Bambi's mom, and wants to do terrible things to Link. Halloween is weird
there's crying, and people are upset, and there's a love triangle, and a broken heart, and so much estrogen
The first thing my Christmas gift money is buying is a dildo.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
thanks for supporting my whoreish tendencies
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