We traveled between two mile markers in 18 seconds. Do the math.
just sold my soul for a pack of cigaroos. little do they know they got the short end of the deal. suckers.
the cop asked for your social security number and you gave her your high school locker combo
Me + Nice restaurant + Copious amounts of booze + obscene comments to couples = valentine's day plans
so its official, girls can see a boner through my snuggie.
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
Didn't get the job. Searched for my references on FB and saw the pic of me weighing my head passed out.
You know how I've been hooking up with my ex? Well he told me he loved me and I said I was just there for sex so let's get it done. He looked sad, but he did it anyways. And life was good again.
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
I guess she fell asleep at the strip club and the other one was crying because she had a vagina in her face. Happy 21st!
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
Actually we have similar relationship styles aka no relationship... it could work
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
he would NOT stop making out with my stomach! creeeeeepy
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