I cant find my shoes, my wallet, or my keys, but i know where your sister is.
At what point did I decide it would be a good idea to fill my contact case with vodka
Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
Its a three day weekend with Valentines day thrown in... Im obligated to get drunk
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
forgot a fork. i am eating fettucini alfredo with a comb that i rinsed off the the bathroom sink. eating alone in my car. life doesn't get any sadder than this
I'd really appreciate it if we could dress up as pilgrims and indians for the thanksgiving eve bar crawl
Made it home ok. Only got hit by one car.
I am assuming I was his dirty Mardi Gras mistake and I can live with that
On a side note I think I burnt my eyebrow when we "teter-totered" into the fire
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Oh we were great hosts that night. We made sure to leave all the beds open by passing out on the bathroom floors instead.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
I tried to order champagne at IHOP last night
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
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