so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I dont know if he should be happy or mad about it but he's too big for a blow job.
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
Last night she showed me how to clean my bowl and now she's drunk making peanut butter filled cookies. Best. Roommate. Ever.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
He is going to sleep with me. That's all there is to it. I'm 4 for 4 right now. I'm not making it 4 for 5.
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
I'm so sorry man. Roger cartwheeled into a signpost and cut his face open. it was pretty messy so we all went into panic mode.
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
a pizza costume came into my possession last night. needless to say i showed up to his house wearing only the pizza, shouting "delivery" into his window.
17. The number of times my one night stand told me he loved me.
I wanna say I regret bonging a beer while having sex with Mike, but it helped me get thru it.
Like sometimes I’ll be hangry but for dick
That was the first time i’ve been physically intimidated by a LinkedIn profile.
Want to help me interview candidates to replace my Cub/Boy Toy when he leaves for grad school next month?
Randomize
