I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
girl has like over 50 stars tattooed on her front, side and back. feels like i just fucked the universe.
We woke up next to each other with a mutual look of disgust, and then he left. I knew I should have gone for the younger brother.
First time i ever had an awkward silence during sex.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
How many times a week can a couple have a threesome with the same guy before it becomes some sort of 3-way relationship?
Why the fuck did you text me at 4 in the morning telling me not to have sex with the bird?
Seriously though a big penis is like a puppy dog, or a sunny day or some other glorious thing
You are such a penis elitist
Well, I'm at the grocery store wondering whether I exist or not.
Vaguely remember? You pushed George and two other fellas out the way to hug me, screamed gandalf before chugging your beer and smashing the bottle on the floor. I lolled.
I'm so high that I'm intently watching my neighbor move his car back and forth in order to put his motorcycle in the garage, and getting irritated that it seems so complicated.
Is "head down ass up" an appropriate way to say good morning?
I gave three different guys a boner at the same time last night, and none of them are in the same city as I am. That's achievement.
I don't have the resources to adequately explain this. I need like a Powerpoint presentation and also Vodka.
How did you get so drunk?
Alcohol.
Randomize
