We found an eightball on the ground last night. I mean, really, who does that?
My husband just tried to seduce me by saying we can do it doggystyle so you can watch tv
you should probably quit with the whole "no homo" thing, especially when you are drunk, "mo homo"gives the wrong impression.
Im pretty sure he just said he wants to make a baby with me, but he's pretty shitfaced, so I'm not sure if he knows who I am.
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We need you. We already made it on global news and are drunk at the election party.
Chick last night said she only gets off if she rubs her childhood blanket her parents gave her during sex
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
All i remember his him yelling yahtzee while pouring beer down her shirt .
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You got Broadway Drunk, dude. I haven't heard you sing "Music Of The Night" like that since the last time I was holding you up on the way to the subway at two in the morning.
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
it's not rock bottom until you fall down an escalator on the way home from a hookup and have to have you dad come pick your drunkass up at 3am. Adulthood.
Saw a thong on the yellow lines of the street when I left this morning, are they yours by any chance?
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
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