please tell me I'm in your upstairs bedroom. Just google mapped myself and I have no idea where I am.
i can barely draw a stick figure let alone shave a heart into my pubes
grown man stumbling drunk down green street wearing nothing but a hot dog costume and crying. its not even noon yet.
She just said, "are my livers going to die?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
She sat on the stairs and yelled sex positions at us. I don't remember if we went along with it but judging by the beer and condoms I'm thinking yes.
I'm one ex away from doing an entire victory lap of all of the guys I've hooked up with since second semester of freshman year. Single me is scary.
If I wake up with an unknown penis in me one more time I am literally going to press charges to the makers of tequila.
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't understand. This could be the last time I shave a star into my vag. Get over here.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I'm glad I didn't see Grandma stumbling drunk and peeing herself...it would be like seeing my future.
I just saw a guy in a zippo shirt buy 2 gallons of fire starter fluid and then proceed to smoke a cigarette. I feel like hes got some big plans for his tuesday.
Randomize