I think there's some kind of asian convention downtown. There are thousands and they're all wearing badges and snapping pictures. I feel like I just stepped into your worst nightmare.
Bonnaroo quote of the day: "why the fuck am i pregnant?!?!" - exclaimed loudly by random hippie.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
The liquor store is having an inventory reduction sale. It would be a sin not to stop and help them out.
And we all know God doesn't like sinners.
Amen.
This show inspires me to have sex in space
I dont think he stole the pillow. I mean if he wanted a souvenir, my thong was on the nightstand.
all he has to do is look at me on new years and hes getting laid. thats how hot he is
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
We've been here for ten minutes. She told me I wasn't "Irish enough", licked my tits, and then sprinkled green glitter on them.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
She's chasing her own tail and is afraid of her own feet. My stoner cat, ladies and gentlemen.
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
You're going to replace me with a robot made of heating blankets and a vibrator?
Randomize
