i wonder why nobody wants to date me...im doing a crossword at work and asked out loud: whats a 4 letter word for 'a reason to get married?'
i was like PREG?
How long until YT realizes that it's a man?
oh yeah I'm gonna practice throwing up so I can be ready for Friday night. and Saturday. Beth is back, diaper and all.
Am i fat?
Well i wouldnt let you on top
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
I'm finding that as the end of the quarter approaches, the list of things I refuse to do sober keeps getting longer.
I had to photo shop your nipple piercings. that was extremely awkward.
In the pictures there's a flower in my hair and also a lobster, I need those things explained
He's hitting it raw. Might as well stick his dick in a vat of SARS at this point.
Dude. Photoshop a Santa hat on your mug shot and send it as your Christmas cards.
The look of disappointment from my cat while I take nudes...
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
So it turns out that a Ford Focus does not fit in a Walmart cart return.
I BLEED THE BLOOD OF MY ANCESTORS WHO FOUGHT SO BRAVELY FOR MY FREEDOM
cool u want pads or tampons
tampons please
Randomize
