Ok pretty sure I just saw Mike O'Malley walking through the parking lot. I wanted to see if I followed him, would he lead me to the acro-criag, i've always wanted a crack at that bitch.
He told me he had never done that before...I responded with "clearly"
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
I'm a fake celebrity on twitter. I need a life.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You threw up in a Dixie cup last night. Oddly, you just gained major points in my book for that.
There was a canoe full of alcohol. It was literally a boat load of fun
He was on Keeping Up with the Kardashians it was like a deed from god to bang him
At the same time. Hot men feeding me brownies. In between rounds of sex.
Dont eat ANYTHING off the floor at Matt's house. He likes floor sex.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My drunk neighbor is arguing with a goose in his yard. This was the highlight of my day.
The sweaty, naked apartment dance party wasn't complete until I threw the whole jar of glitter on us. It was like the icing.
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
What can i say, my face is nice and my body is just unreal. And my beer pouring/stealing is incredible \n
I was pretty pissed in the morning when I realized he had fucked the fake tattoo right off my chest.
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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