Did you just see the Batmobile???
the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
On the bright side, I hit her with the door on the way in
im seconds away from chugging that vodka and preforming the surgery on myself.
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
What happened with the girl wasn't a gay thing. It was just a mutual respect and want for sex. The guys just weren't there.
Call it what you want. You fucked a girl.
He sent me a slow motion video of him jerking off...it was so long (the video not his dick) even I felt awkward watching it alone
It took me longer to finish the bottle of scotch we bought together on New Years than it did for her to meet a new guy and get engaged
It's really hard to masturbate now that I live with girls who actually function before 11 am.
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
In hindsight I shouldn't have been blasting Antichrist Superstar if I didn't want to seem suspicious driving up to a Catholic church
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