he also called and said i only cheated on you 8 times but they were all trannies
and someone in the background yelling "one was fat so that counts as one and a half"
Stop trying to talk to my friends!!
then get some ugly ones...
My mother's day gift to my mother is to promise never to tell her 95% of the stories I've accumulated in my life.
hey remember that 14 year old i met 5 years ago who i said i would bang 5 years from then?
Yup.
no i do not regret standing at the wendys drive thu handing the employees mardi gra beads to get free chicken nuggets
She scratched my sunburn during sex. I didn't know whether to cry or cum
I would feel bad sleeping with her unless all of her personalities were on board with it.
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
he's the only real guy friend I've had who I've never made out with
I have a sixth sense for large penises and lack of morals
I'm going to smell of sex and shame.
How is that different than any other Monday night?
Is it bad when I wake up sore & don't know if my injuries are from sex or the mechanical bull at the bar?
he told me his feelings for me AFTER sex, so that means he meant it right?
Randomize
