All these guys look like the American Apparel version of Jesus...
Its ok. I handled the situation with grace and class. lol jk i got shitfaced and fucked his roomate.
I vaguely remember chanting "USA" at the pool when we were talking to the Frenchies.
We were pointing at fat people and chanting USA.
Do Not. I repeat. DO NOT DRINK WHISKEY TO COPE. You will end up in jail. LEARN FROM THE PRO
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
So my mom wants me to come swim with dolphins with my little sisters in October. I'm not sure how to tell her I saw a "when dolphins attack" special when I was rolling and am now terrified of them.
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Just picked up an ounce of keif and if it goes to waste before the world ends I'm gonna haunt the shit out of somebody when we all die.
I'm confident that their children would come out as 100% authentic rats
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
your body is your temple. do you really want a bunch of dicks in your temple?
When you are 21 it's acceptable to run out of the tavern and puke all over the bike rack... when you are 35 it's called alcoholism.
Thanks for bringing that stuff to help me feel better...you know, the water, the Gatorade, and the dick. You really are the best friend ever.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
the hot lifeguard just pulled a McDonald's cheeseburger out of her fanny pack.
Randomize
