remind me to tell you what i found stuck to me this morning
His facebook interests include 'unstrapping velcro'.
I'm not saying we can't have sex tonight, I'm just saying we have to work it around Lost.
He spent the whole night convincing me I wasn't fat, but after we had sex he said "Oh, I see what you mean"
i keep seeing random pieces of my outfit all around town.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Is it bad that I don't ask for names anymore? Just added "gold-chain-wearing hotel guy" to my list under "minivan 3way" and "funny-tasting gym guy."
Whenever I'm hungover I try to stay in public as much as possible, hoping to be a cautionary tale to children. It's a public service, really.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
I guess "Ass Fun Friday" is not a thing no matter how many times I say it or bring it up in conversation...
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I'm not 100 percent on this, but I think I just shit a lump of cement. What the fuck happened last night?
I just remembered I casually gave you a tour of the house after we boned...lol
I don't want to go to sleep. I like partying with myself.
Randomize
