What would a frattoo be? Maybe like the Chinese symbol for Keystone Light.
you threw up in someones recycling bin and left a note apologizing. how drunk do you think you were?!
I've seriously contemplated telling him the baby isn't his just so I can meet Maury Povich
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
this girl is having heart failure because she lost her feather...a gypsy blessed it in turkey. Not sure im high enough for this
Just walked in on the Yellow Ranger getting porked by a guy in a UD Blue Hen costume. Will somebody PLEASE think of the children.
I have mastered the 3 minute room cleaning drill in preparation for the nights possible slam-piece
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
Chris used to fill up a Camel Back for thirsty Thursday. God I really miss him, do you remember when he gets out of jail?
Just so you know, if I get bored tomorrow I WILL pretend to get drunk in the bathroom and crash the whole thing
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Condoms and Ice Cream, that's all we need.
I'm over here willing to be the Yoda of fucking but I guess he just doesn't want to be a Jedi.
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
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