is it bad that i think of my life in terms of the sims? like when i'm hitting it off with someone, i really wish a plus sign would appear above my head. and when i throw up from drinking way too much, a minus sign.
Do you ever make guys send you dick pictures just cause it's hilarious?
this homeless guy just told me to make a wish on his magic plastic spoon but said to be careful what i wish for...
Pregaming class all semester has made this final review session more like my introduction to the topic.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
Im going home to examine my vagina with a hand mirror. wish me luck.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
Just break the ice by asking who had to take plan b this past semester
Would you be offended if I asked you to smoke a blunt with me while I pooped?
He told me that if I were a guy he'd go gay for me. Honestly don't know how to take that.
today i was walking through gramercy with a dress bag from David's Bridal and a bag of McDonald's. No guy would make eye contact with me as I scarfed down my fries. I think I was mankind's walking night terror.
When he wakes up tomorrow with half shaved legs smelling like a preteens bathroom, I'm sure he will think he has had a great evening
He asked me if I want to play Uber Driver, is this some new sex game or is he drunk and asking for a ride home?
I want a musical about memes.
Randomize
