Ducking stuck downtown...all the fuxkig roads are blixkded
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
new revelation: five guys for breakfast
new revelation: previous revelation not a good revelation
Opportunity cost of getting to econ after a night on the town > marginal benefit of attending class
Yeah! I got cockblocked by the blizzard last night. Lost girl on way to my apartment. Not a joke
Dude, everyone in your family has slept with that girl. Her vagina is like the Hindu version of a Bar Mitzvah.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
He tried to bang a 300 pounder last night. No joke. I shotgunned a tall boy in a bar cuz the bartender didn't crack the beer. Cant wait till Nashville.
Wtf. I just got invited to a threeway bj session in the bathroom at boiler. Lmao
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
He asked if he could pull one of my teeth "to remember me by"
I asked her politely not to touch my dick
I got so many dick pics last night. It was like a slideshow from heaven.
I'm just gonna back away slowly and come back when there's less weird crap.
I am so so sorry I bit your butt last night. Twice.
Randomize
