this girl just gave me her phone number and 5 mins later right in front of me she is giving her number to another dude
call her and ask her what she thinks she's doing
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
We JUST got rid of the new years fatties at my gym and now the spring break fatties are here. goddamn.
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
I want to buy her liposuction. And a spot on What Not To Wear. And a face transplant.
Sit down my child. It's time you were told of my famous loss-of-virginity story entitled, "The Penis that Never Could."
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
He'd rather cuddle with his shitty little miniature dog than the half naked girl in his bed. I've lost all hope for him and my vagina
I don't drink nearly as much when I'm coupled, and that's not a lifestyle I can commit to
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
This conversation went from me banging other women's husbands to learning about baked goods. If that isn't personal growth I don't know what is.
Just realized that I indirectly pay for sex through my cable bill
Wow. He is an expensive lay
I still have to figure out the cost per lay. It could be a financially sound investment
She dropped the call after she told me she doesn't want to hear about how loud he can scream.
Randomize
