Our adventure is going to pick up his pipe and weed that he ditched when he got pulled over the other day.
HOT DATE.
The first thing they saw when they walked in was all four of our std test's hangin on the fridge....i'd be worried if they didn't think we were sluts
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
If we see one freshman that cummed on me, we are leaving.
the night got glorious when you tried to do an upside down keg stand with a near empty key and dropped it on your face
I was so proud to be driving sober that I wanted to get pulled over so I could tell the officer I hadn't been drinking.
I think ppl see us as an unstoppable drunken force
What can I say? When alcohol is my motivation, I can move mountains.
You just kept screaming at everyone 'not to break your scarf' and doing somersaults
The real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch Buck Rodgers on Tuesday.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
Cheez-its and a bottle of cab...for under $10 you could win this girls heart
They had an Olympic theme party at her work yesterday. She brought home her fake gold medal and hung it on my cock after she rode me.
I'm sorry for what I said when I was orgasming
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
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