I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
I GOT MY PERIOD!
damn. i had names picked out.
it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
RJ thinks I should put one of the muffins in my vagina. Good idea or bad idea?
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
i am pretty sure she ate my hamster last night. i am thinking this because she left me a note that says she ate my hamster and my hamster is no longer in its hamster cage.
Priorities: waking up on your doorstep desperately clutching half a meatball marinara but with no sign of your keys, purse or housemate. Where are you?!
She pulled a wad of lint out of my bellybutton while she was blowing me. Said she's never seen anything like it. I've never gone soft so fast.
I don't want to die alone with cake watching shows about cake
She kept saying how cute and adorable I was. I felt like a care bear getting a blowjob
Who was the person who brought the rooster when they won @ beer pong
I got really upset at the McDonald's worker. They should serve nuggets 24/7. Apparently 5am is breakfast for some people.
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
You could at least care enough to fake an orgasm for me.
Randomize
