dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
my 3 year old cousin just woke up screaming "IT WON'T GO DOWN!'
Life lesson learned last night, if you are too drunk to use the atm leave the strip club
You held your own hair and threw up into a red cup...I think they were more amazed than upset.
He's having a heart to heart coversation with the keg about what he should do with his life.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I think I've reached that age where I should start dating "congrats" and not "are you keeping it?"
There is an empty space on my boobs where glow paint should be.
First thought today, I need a ventriloquist dummy that looks like me. This week's project has been determined.
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
I think I've just evolved into some kind of vodka fueled monster
I resisted the urge to announce that it looks like a big crystal butt plug
apparently when she asked me how drunk I was on a scale of 1-10, I answered "bitch I'm fabulous" and tried to do a sassy hairflip. but I have short hair.
I'm excited for him and his new girlfriend. I'm just going to miss his penis is what I'm saying.
Randomize
