yo my bday is less then one week away. hope youve found another annoying candian i can lick dairy products off of. also sorry about your loss
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
This frat boy drinking a forty and wearing a pussy patrol shirt just ran out in front of my car. I should have used less brakes.
I am scared. I picture you doing a keg stand on a sinking ship with hula girls cheering you on. Please text me when you get back to shore...or now would be good
Dont judge me. He may have been ugly but he was INCREDIBLE. He's like the Susan Boyle of sex.
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
This is breast cancer awareness month... The least we can do is give a stripper some singles.
Printed off fake 'Producer' Sundance badges for us. Pretty sure they double as free passes for getting laid by 'actresses'. Testing this theory tonight.
I refuse to fuck a guy who needs a coozy for his beer. NOT EVEN IN DESPERATE TIMES LIKE THESE.
Technically my penis started a fight tonight
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
Boise Idaho, where you have a one night stand with someone from your town 3 states away and run into them the day you return...
You know those twins i had a crush on in grade school? Just woke up between them. Best. Party. EVER.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
Do you think Root Touch Up or Just for Men would work better on pubes?
Randomize
