They still haven't come up with a cure for a hangover; good luck cancer.
i hope chris hansen doesn't have a boat
hickory dickory dock, please dont tell me about your cock
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
having to delete all your hookups stored in your phone as first name followed by frat/bar after they've graduated is such a bittersweet feeling
how thoroughly do i need to sanitize the cone the vet put around my dog's neck for it to be safe to use as a beer bong?
We should celebrate the resignation of Berlusconi tonight with too many bottles of wine and sambuca. We're allies, right?
She was giving me that "well this is awkward since you drunkedly tried to hook up with me" look.
Are we talking about who knows if I'll get naked pictures of you with a broadsword or who knows if I'll be surprised?
I still don't know why she was so offended when I emerged from the bathroom and told her my balls were now clean.
I may or may not have hooked up with the cop who arrested me.. Or I can cross hooking up with a stripper in a cop outfit off my bucket list.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Wanna see if we can get cut off at bdubs again? The same hipster manager that is younger than us is working again
I’m literally watching say yes to the dress, eating fancy cheeses with crackers, and I have orange dark chocolates. All of which is being washed down with merlot. And I’m 100% sure a porno is gonna go down next door tonight. They don’t have a car and arrived via taxi. Happy holidays from motel 6 Pendleton Oregon!
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