I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
One of the bamboo sticks broke and impaled him. I think he's drunk enough that it shouldn't hurt until tomorrow.
..But I'm still alive. And thats the main thing
Well, it's hard to say. Last night he puked a perfect circle around him on the floor, and then sat in it insisting it would protect him from the smoke monster. He's was still there last time I checked.
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Dont worry about getting me anything... Just put a bow on your ass.
Deal.
I can't tell if I'm hungover or if my cat just knocked the lamp on my face
DAMMIT. BOHEMIAN RHAPSODY IS GONNA GET STUCK IN MY HEAD AGAIN. FUCK YOU OLYMPICS.
You gave your boss a bj to get the safe employee of the month award?
hey if you're going to the hospital do you wanna pick me up a taco on your way back
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I just tried to pay for a coffee with a dollar and a necco wafer.
I thanked him for the booty call offer but told him I'd rather just do it myself
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
It's less than a hour into 2020 and I already want to punch some people in the face
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