hide the guitars, Nate just learned to play free fallin'
I would really like to get high with Bill Nye. I'm being dead serious. Every step I take is literally a step I take because it will take me closer to Science Guy high.
We could get him to build Inspector Gadget.
I didn't know you were high TOOOO!!!
she wrote "SORRY" in her vomit and left
At chipotle, there's a bachelorette party starting out the night here, i'm going to let you imagine what the bride to be looks like
I didn't think it was possible, but that girl next door is even louder when drunk.
20 bottles of wine, 3 cases or beer, and 5 bottles in my kitchen... My parents are teasing me.
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
You are my best friend, but sometimes best friends need to punch each other in the face
I just literally had a dance party in my closet. I've never been this blazed.
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
I have commenced my lesbian college experimentation. Wish me luck
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
Well I'm over here squandering a fabulous hair day and radiant complexion
will you help me invent vagina-safe pop rocks?
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
Randomize
