Another night of drunkeness. Maybe I shouldn't have played death pong...
Didn't you just get a DUI last week?
Indeed I did but death didn't stop Jesus now did it
i have a feeling he has a nice dick. i can just sense it.
I don't know if it's her mysterious past or atrocious grammar, but I think I'm in love.
I wonder how many times I can be hungover in one day
She had been watching Bad Girls Club where the annoying girl always says "I RUN L.A.". After she got wasted she kept going up to strangers at the bar yelling "I RUN FAYETTEVILLE." I peed in her drink.
haha the sad thing is i can't decide whats worse. the fact that you're drunk judging a science fair or the fact that i'm really proud of you for it.
He stripped down to boxers and then started flinging jello shots with a spoon into people's mouths like a catapult.
his face was nice enough, but his choice of footwear screamed columbian drug lord
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
My ex's new gf is pregnant and he is sterile, so 2016 is starting off well.
i just watched a 7 minute video on people making a hot air balloon for their dog and i am a changed person
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
We're sort of like brothers. Except with more sexual tension. And we don't look alike. Or are related.
So we're not much like brothers really.
Visiting my great uncle went well. The highlight of the evening was when he said, "Oh my god. I'm 79 and I'm teaching 18 year old kids how to roll a joint."
Randomize
