We're watching an ocean show on Discovery Channel and drinking every time they say "dolphins." PS. Seals kill birds. Tell all your friends.
I didnt attack him, I heard I threw a chair at him- big difference. And you know Im not a creep so whatever
The camp director doesn't care if we drink and i'm running the rifle range. Someone is going to get sued.
i realized really quickly that drinking a bottle of vodka and 3 crystal light packets wasn't the best idea i've ever had
She soaked the fruit in vodka for ten minutes and then mixed it with normal fruit and sherbert icecream. It was called "lottery fruit".
The woman at the nail salon waxing my lip just showed me the strip with all the hair on it while smirking. Apparenltly 'you have a stache' can be communicated through a language barrier.
and she is using the paper towels as a pillow... but you know what? i've done that too.. so u can really tell we are sisters.
Breakfast-of-shame with my mother. I was in half of a sexy Mad Hatter costume. We had artisan bagels and judgement.
Eating my shrimp pasta on the porch with a 40, wearing a Hawaiian shirt, proclaiming "I GOT SCRIMPS." I just jumped the shark of college.
Oh shit I just realized the ropes are still tied to the bedposts
While he was gone for spring break I took his head board... I don't wanna wake up from his shenanigans for the rest of my college career.
Today I'm playing this game called how physically long can I Lay in this one spot before moving, do you have an estimated time of departure?
Honestly it's a super power. I can try it a million different ways and nothing happens. Donnie casually says "ok this is now a toppless party" and it all kicks-off
I ordered from the drive thru as i was peeing on the menu
We've been together for 10 months. These next 2 may be a deal breaker. He has not met the summertime version of me that is so hungover today that I cancelled a meeting with my boss right after she sent me an appreciation note saying I have great work ethic. I have her fooled.
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