its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
There is still throw up in my sink from before break. God I missed this place
The guy is drinking 5 bottles of beer in a juice pitcher. Fucking amazing.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I accidentally peed all over the couch. It's safe to say I'm not welcome at that house anymore
Malibu has added tequila to its rum. It's like when two beautiful gaybies come together an spawn a unicorn that only cries jellybean tears.
It took 6 cruisers to bust the party last night. Cop asked if the theme was a beach party. I said I would fucking hope so with 8 tons of sand in the garage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, we tried to feed you but you just started sobbing and ran away
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
Ps I think male models just broke down outside or maybe gay German sex travelers
I have to call my new boss to accept the job offer so you have pack the bowl while I pretend I'm a responsible adult THEN we can get high
you made the house rule that every time you'd say "yay" everyone had to drink.
that explains so much
We're like a married couple, but we only have sex on college holidays and other people's birthdays.
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