Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
pube in her braces AGAIN. barely kept a straight face.
9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
He is passed out on the kitchen floor. He will fight you if you disturb him. Just a warning.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
My Valentine's Day plans just drastically changed... My F buddy just ran into my gf...in my driveway.
Stop treating my vagina like a slapchop.
THESE BITCHES NOT IN MY MAJOR BETTER NOT FILL UP MY SLAVIC FAIRYTALES CLASS
So he noticed that I cut a half inch off of my hair. Guess who just earned himself some road head on the way to the twin cities?
Just please try not to piss Danny off, I really can't afford to find a new drug dealer again
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Woke up with a glow stick in my boobs this morning. Must've dominated Sunday.
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