So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I woke up in my girlfriends bed with another guy laying next to me. wtf.
Just got walked in on during safety inspections
Think you passed?
at roughly 3:30am you called me saying you were gonna start a big game of strip twister in politics class and i was your partner.
Just 30 Funny Tumblr Posts About Starbucks
I think I told some stripper my friend owned Groupon Last night
i gave her a can of corn and told her the cabs are accepting non perishable food items over the holidays. blatant lie and she lives like $40 away
in line at jewel. the cashier is puking in a garbage can while ringing up customers. glad to know im not the only one that 2012 is kicking in the face already.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
FONT CPME TO THE TRUK. I REPATE SONT COME TO THE TRUCK WERE GETTON FRAEKY
18 People Are Kind Of A**holes But Also Completely Hilarious
am i new drunk or am i still drunk
I just had my first lesbian experience. Out of spite.
I decided to start over my porn collection by deleting the old stuff. That was a sad piece of a pie chart...
I did get to watch you pee, tho. That counts as another precious moment.
I just interrupted this girl giving a dude head in a parked car on the south side. Going down on your guy while you're parked in front of your house because you don't want your parents catching you is fine by me, just don't block the fire hydrant.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.