dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
I just puked in the walgreens aisle buying gatorade and advil for my hangover... i guess i failed
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
It smells like wine and fried chicken. Im confused and intrigued.
These 25 People Had Very Inappropriate Sexual Relations(hips)
He walked in and put an x made out of tape on the floor. He then announced that he was going to pass out there. Cocky or strategic?
That weatherman I hooked up with is on TV again
i love being in ibiza. their hotels are much more receptive to walking around naked in the lobby than our american ones.
I always figured rock bottom would've involved more hookers
I'm naked in the window of the hotel and I feel like I'm walking in slow motion like a robot
These 31 People Are Lazier Than You Could Ever Imagine
I blacked out before two in the afternoon yesterday. Now that's a successful birthday.
Don't ask me how, but I have a squirrel in my backpack and I don't know what to do with it.
At one point during xmas dinner my whole family was double fisting. It was like thats how I learned to drink moment
This guy dressed as a piece of paper for Halloween, I felt it was only necessary to sign his penis
Just get over here and light metaphorical fireworks in my literal vagina
I wish I could accurately explain the embarrassment of standing in your bathroom with women's nair on your ass waiting to get in the shower.