what was i supposed to do!? wake up and actually ask her name??
I'm so hungover, I actually considered rolling down the stairs to avoid walking.
You need to get here now. A drunk girl just stumbled into our apartment. shes laying on the floor by our door.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
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Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
I found a big gulp cup full of vomit in my freezer, are you behind this?
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
She peed in the limo. She stood up and pulled up her dress and peed on the floor of the limo.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
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I went on my dinner date pretending that my lunch date didn't jizz in my hair.
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
He was smart enough to bring a condom to our study date so I mean I'm sure he'll do fine on the test
You have better ratings than Crest. Only 4/5 dentists recommend it. You have 8/9 recommendation for your blowjob skills.
Hey I'm coming to get my gin do you want a good luck blowjob for your exam tmrw
Sooooooo this guy just asked me if I'd be interested in a threesome... I'm considering bc I would get to hang out with his dog afterwards.