Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Ask Niel how long his lasts if he plays with it a lot.
he says 15-20 minutes depending on the porn.
no his phone, idiot.
All I know is it had something to do with a plunger and tuna salad. I'm done. I'm quitting my job.
i don't remember but I assumed it was bad when I woke up with directions from his house to mine already pulled up on my phone
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
So my mom and I were talking about what I should get you for christmas. She made it clear I cannot get christmas lingerie.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
I just heard my parents fuck. What. The. Fuck. My rooms right under theirs.. My dad barely even lasted a minute. Im almost ashamed..
I knew from the second he called his penis glorious that I was meant to sleep with him
Fucking shoot me with this y'all shit. You were in Texas for 2months you do not have an accent Madonna
Do you find Darth Vader masks attractive?
But how MUCH of an emergency? Like, should I go to the ER now, or can it wait until after the bar crawl?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
Randomize
