Woke up in a different state, wearing only a bk crown. My boxers are in a tree and I think I went to the hospital last night.....
I told you not to do acid with the girl who works the late shift at 7-11
dont you remember the bouncer yelling at you while you were trying to piss?
no. why was the bouncer in the bathroom?
he wasn't. neither were you.
I found a picture of my kindergarten class. Now you can see whose peer pressure I succumbed to.
Question: Would it be wrong to just fuck both of them and decide who to date one performance of their cocks?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I walked in and she was kneeling on the ground with no pants on, throwing up, and holding the puppy. It was one of those moments, where i was like damn i wish i had my camera.
Lesson of the night- sweaty dick can get stuck to ice, and require medical attention.
There is a reason for guards on beard trimmers I just clipped a wrinkle on my sack so much blood
I feel like we should at least be hungover if we're gonna be this grown up.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't know how that blunt survived being in your pocket all night but you pulled it out at 4 am in 7/11 and tried to fire it up. Zero fucks given
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Just reached for my phone in my non existant pocket while it was in my hand.
I mean that was the nicest way to be dumped by some one I wasn't dating.
I’m calling dibs!
You can’t call dibs on dick. That’s free range dick. May the best vagina win!
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
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