i had the deer in headlights look when she walked in and i was digging in her hamper
I just want to get to the point in our relationship where I can get on top of her and fart and we can both laugh...not just me.
The seats are awesome but you see two of each player.
Speaking of morons, I just found half a Subway sandwich in the bathroom drawer You or your brother?
we had incredible sex, then he proposed with the vibrating cock ring
I'll give her a pass for the first one, but after the second threesome, she should have learned her lesson.
Just whatever you do please don't lick his face again.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
she made a facebook for her toddler.. his likes include lil wayne and ice luge. He has more friends than i do. I mean, Seriously? there's not enough booze in the world to make thanksgiveing bearable
Note to self: Don't go home with a recent divorcee. Semen and tears.
No just a slight sexual miscommunication which led to a little (lot) vomiting by one party and a bruised sternum on the other party involved.
I can't even make a guess how that goes.
I wish university was like frosh week all the time and then they just give you a degree for surviving
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
I went to Christian school in the 90s. I can finger blast anything, but dignity.
I know I joke about running from my problems a lot but I'm 3 miles off-campus and need a ride
Randomize
