He gave Paula abdoul a run for her crazy
I was so high that i was talking shit about a girl I was with via text, and I handed the phone to her so she could type the shit I was trying to say.
Doctorate. Vaginahole. Cinnamon. Rainbow. Fill in the blanks in the morning.
I mean, I gave him a hand job on the Pearl Harbor tour bus; I don't know what the fuck else he wants out of this "relationship"
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
Did you blackout Saturday before or after we had sex in a random snow bank?
No. Dude. I didn't knoe it eas floibg to move. It's slepprru ixuy!
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
She had a baby Jesus butt plug
Black labs can get you to do pretty much anything...even approach strange men in their bath robes
You barfed off the front porch while the elderly neighbors were walking their dog. We had to convince them not to call 911.
Pics or it didn't happen.
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
Do NOT. I repeat. DO NOT call me little one after we have fucked. In no world is that ok. Even jesus agrees.
i forgot how loud opening a beer is in a house where your not allowed to drink
Randomize
