You wanna call me after your homoerotic shower?
I don't make mistakes...just understandable bad choices.
I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
You broke a window with your face. I don't think the landlord will be as impressed as we were.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
He gets a blow job and all I get is a huge scar on my arm ... how is this fair?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
The cougar has a calendar on her wall of when she can give topless handjobs again. I pity her husband.
At the very least, I mastered a nap while occasionally being dry humped.
It's 11:50 on Friday the 13th. There's a full moon. AND the bride to be just puked on herself while getting a lap dance from a stripper named...wait for it....LUCKY. Is this real life?
I'm glad your nude photos turned out "classy" but you cannot hang them in the living room.
I forgot a room to the key..so whenever you wake ip and read this...I'm sleeping inthe hallway..please find me
I have jizz, in my hair. I'm sitting in class with jizz. In. My. Hair. I need to make better life choices.
I just told my bowl "sorry" for putting it down, because I thought I hurt its feelings. omg. I'm high.
Randomize
