he wasnt into me til he saw how good i was at ms pacman. wtf why does this always happen? when she kisses pacman it was a little awkward, so i made my move. i went for more than one kind of banana last night!
We had sex in his tahoe, talked about how we don't love each other and then high fived twice. Best Day Ever
Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
i woke up convinced that my room was backwards i tried to go into the closet to get outta my room
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
I just discovered how perfect a shot glass is for putting your chicken nugget dipping sauces into. Like I'll probably do this when I'm a mother feeding my children.
He had rug burn on his nose from my landing strip
I already apologized. And I got cum in my eye in return, I say your night beats mine...
This is great- I found hangover detoxifying bath salt online. It flushes out the alcohol. We need this.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
truck drivers should not leave their trucks unlocked with cigarettes inside when we're drunk and walking around.
how many people can say they bit their tattoo off?
his first act of 2015 was getting stabbed
I AM GONNA CUM EVERYWHERE TONIGHT BRO.
One a scale of one to hella drunk, how gracefully can I make it down those stairs
Randomize
