planned parenthood is perfect for picking up chicks...they all put out
I think I'm going to die by hangover. I'm in my spanish class. So I guess I'm going to be muerte.
On a side note, I now know what a $150 cab ride looks like
Any questions about why there was a scuba tank chilling in the hot tub this morning?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
Drinking wine in my childhood bed getting ready to go to sleep in order to wake up for my menial temp job. Thanks, college degree, I can handle the real world.
Wake up, take the dog to the trails, puke in the woods. More days should start like this.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
How many stacks you been grindin gangsta?
omg mom no
It's so blood brotha crip what be good
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a "my chaser needed a chaser" kind of night
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
You know it's a good night when the word slut is imprinted on your ass and your hands smell like lube.
Fantasizing about the apocalypse is fun and shit until the conditions that could lead to one suddenly seem feasible
I hooked up with the sexiest couple in the LAX BATHROOM IN THE CHANGING FAMILY ROOM HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAA
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
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