you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
Holy walk of shame. Fuck someone's house. I walked past a family eating their free continental breakfast wearing yesterday's makeup
I think that was him coming out to me. I just brushed it off
i'll probably be on drugs forewarning
forewarning i'll probably have done those drugs with you
There is not greater feeling than lying to your boss and leaving work to shit in the comfort of your own home
tanning, a slurpee, and a cigarette. spa day college edition
Needless to say, she forgave him, they're back together, and I'm seriously considering having a lesbian year.
I'm high, watching "Scream" and eating a grilled cheese sandwich off my boobs. I'm not going anywhere
Come on, clusterfuck. Put on a pushup bra and get your fine ass to the bar, or you will be a sad single stoner forever
He's like... An octopus that touches my vagina in all these diff ways at the right times. It's almost unsettling
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
You did things that should be illegal to a Twinkie and asked strangers to drive you home.
I am going home. I have pee on my pants. Rachel is driving and I and drunk. It is not Rachels pee. It is my pee.
As much as I want you to bang someone other than me, he is an asshole.
Did you apologize to him for the trip to the strip club as a first date or is that something that just gets swept under the rug??
Randomize
