My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
But I thought everyone had breakup sex?
I think whatever his name is just puked on the stairs. Just an fyi for the morning. Love you.
The pet store wouldn't sell us fish because they said they could tell we were drunk.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
If he comes over tomorrow, im answering the door naked. Simple as that.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
You think you're smart. You're pretending to be asleep to save yourself from my hormonal pms mood swings. Unfortunately that only works against bears.
What are your thoughts toward getting nasty in a minivan?
I know I've never told you this before.. but Gyro sauce makes everything okay.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
I've officially slept through a hurricane, a tornado and had sex during an earthquake. I'm surviving.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
Randomize
