Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I'm full of awesome ideas
Yesss you are. Im full of confusion. I keep finding peanut butter on my legs...
It's going to be great. We're a perfect team to break up marriages and happiness.
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
I honestly don't know if ill make it through the next two hours. The hangover is strong with this one.
But the ghost of his schlong past haunts you
Then pass out next to me, I'll be under a pong table or a park bench. Really depends on the weather during Mifflin
Then she said I give the best mouth hugs and bar went silent.
I can officially say I had a blunt rolled on my ass
I'm basically your average "grandpa stuck in a 28 year old woman's body" - i'm super passionate about retirement and crossing on the walk signal.
and SLEEP god I love sleep
My mind just played a snippet of me asking to be a Joey and trying to climb into your apron pocket...
Told him I just wanted to be friends. He responded, "The best marriages are born from great friendships." Please come get me.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
Yes be both agreed it was the worst sex in the history of fornication, so I asked him to sign the condom wrapper so I could frame it as a reminder to NEVER sleep with him again
sam was dropping a deuce next to me. wrote me a note that said "glad we shared this experience." passed it under the wrong stall. the other guy picked it up. that's all I know so far.
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