i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
we got our roommate high for the first time. He went into his room alone and watched Malcolm in the middle for three hours
bringing a ziploc bag full of Jim Beam to the movies may not have been the best idea.
The fact that he grabbed my boob in the middle of the conversation shows something needs to change
In all seriousness, if tomorrow night becomes a heated game of Which Ex Gets To Take The Plastered Birthday Girl Home, I'm going to bow out with my integrity intact.
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Can an epipen be used as a tranquilizer ?
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
After the party last night, I dreamt I continued drinking... Apparently my subconscious didn't think I'd had enough...
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
I found pix on her phone of me passed out and her sticking things up my ass. Its over.
I can't trust your balls anymore.
Bro, it was an EPIC night once again last night. I’m so sorry that you saw me naked.
Go ahead without me. This chick is buying me drinks and just found out her husband is cheating on her. I think I just found the next level of revenge fucking: Scorned Trophy Wife Sex
Of course he’s picking me up at the airport. I taught him the Lotus position last time we had sex.
Randomize
