and those juicy C cups turned out to be oddly-shaped A's when her padded bra came off.
No. You are not the Kate in this relationship. I will do what I want.
if by 'bottleservice' you mean 'bringing beers in my purse' then yes, we are.
i just sent my parents are gone come over I have condoms to my mom because Derek changed my numbers while I was passed out
I can't cum and do my makeup at the same time.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
Well when you're drinking tequila mixed with water out of a steve Austin cup I really don't think acquiring a straw is your main priority
he thinks the dog can do a keg stand. i will let you know how it turns out
Ughhhh. Finnnneeeeee. I'll have sex with your brother. Sheesh. The things I do for you woman.
just woke up under a car ? That's odd
Holy fucking shit
WAIT BUT IM WEARING A BACKPACK THAT MAGICALLY HAS 30 BEERS IN IT
We should give each other good-luck-on-your-finals head in the morning.
Bro I just got a hand job playing tiny wings.. Hell yea
honestly if there were pictures of last night i would be embarrassed.... im embarrassed without pictures
I don't know why this person would ask for help. It sounds pretty OK to me. Also, I'd steal those bagpipes.
So, I'm roughly 90% sure that the guy next to me in the xray waiting room is watching porn on his phone right now
Randomize
