Duck Duck Cougar?
I would like to remind you that Mike's hard lemonade only goes good with an extra light cigarette and seminal fluid.
Is it proper Ass-Fingering-Etiquette to tell her u felt her poop or just pretend it didn't happen?
What kind of friend are you? You don't even blackout anymore.
i realized i had a pad on before i went to this guys house so i stuck it in his neighbors shrub.
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
i yelled out "tuesday" during orgasim. he fucked me into 2 days from now.
It's what America was founded on: former hookups referring you for a job four years later.
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Don't worry we will all be making bad decisions soon
That's the most comforting thing I've heard in months
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
I'M SO HIGH I FORGOT HOW TO EAT A STRAWBERRY. A FUCKING STRAWBERRY.
Yesterday I febreezed my bed in between gentleman callers
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
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