Hey guys thanks for lettin me crash at your place for the weekend, I had a great time. PS I got three quarters of a hand job from an asian on the dance floor last night. True story.
everytime i listen to a chris brown song and like it i feel like i bad person
people are starting to question the shark bite story
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
found a naked boy completely buried under a pile of her clothes and terrified...she says she was "saving him for later"
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
I hope so. I just start to question my lifestyle when i pee on coffee tables
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
Ohmy god im about to fuxk my TA. i thyought this was a dream but i love you. <3
I was masturbating with the shower head and someone flushed the other toilet. Pretty sure I have 3rd degree burns on my clit.
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
If i ever die cab you make sure bag pipes are at my funeral they are awsome
I believe I can fly has to be one of the most inspirational songs of our time. Seriously R. Kelly nailed it
Then he went and peed on those teenagers.
dude there's a blind guy on the trail using his service dog to hit on girls.
i came home after a long day at work and she dropped a plate of cheesecake and a bottle of whiskey in front of me and said here's dinner
Randomize
