Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Those strippers last night smelled great. It was the perfect mixture of vanilla and daddy issues.
turns out I still hate jay leno...even at 10pm.
One of my students just said I have "big mommy parts". Even third graders know that my tits are too big. God I love em.
I could literally track my booty calls if I ever got knocked up by my parking tickets
I want to have a prehistoric party. By that, I mean I want to dress up as a dinosaur and get drunk. That's all I want in life.
I seriously might throw up right now. In class. Sunglasses on. I'm getting too old for this.
Babe when I told you that you needed to grow up I didn't mean get drunk and sponsor 8 African kids.
I just typed in random letters on his address bar... 5 out of the 6....a porn site was in the drop down list hahahahaha get a life bro.
$5 off purchases of eighths or more today only. Happy tax-free weekend. -Your consumer-minded pot dealer
You and Eric are like slutty bowling balls, and that poor family are the pins. They won't know what hit em.
strike, motherfucker.
I believe in weed hangovers. To say the least.
Ok. You have started something that can only end with a picture of the inside of my butthole. It may happen today or next year, but it's on my agenda.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
i can feel my liver failing just LOOKING at that thing
Randomize
