As a matter of fact my bong is named Hulkamania brother
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
We decided to play beer pong where the loser had to beer bong a pitcher of beer...people just started losing on purpose. It was a bad idea.
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I just watched the lion king for the first time in years. It's like the equivalent of a really good blow job.
This morning my mouth tasted like fruit trees, battery acid, and magnums. Transferring schools was the best decision Ive ever made.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
He just kept mumbling that he was too drunk for society and then he peed in a bush
I woke up with a bagel in my mouth, still ate it. Free breakfast
He was very considerate of my needs, he offered me pizza before and after.
She just called at a dance party, and you stopped mid puke to join. Another successful night.
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
We need to get me chipped asap
A world without bacon flavored condoms is not one I want to live in.
We need to stop calling him that. I definitely said “Fuck me harder Swizzle Dick“ while we were doing it and it got weird
He should appreciate that I recommend that corkscrew cock of his! I’m getting him laid
Randomize
