she is unbelievable! ever pee on a girl?
not while she was awake
i woke up to find out i shared my bed with a full, open can of natty light last night and didnt spill it. then i drank it for breakfast.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
she insisted i was the anonymous guy on formspring that kept asking to bang her
Clearly I went along with it
I kept pulling the $1 bills off the stage and told everyone "no no no she has to work for this money"
I think ill wear my dads dashiki but make it sluttier. We shall see
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
apparently, dueling with garden tools in Home Depot is strictly frowned upon
All three of my roommates have their significant others over. We're all hanging out in the living room. It's like I'm the trifecta of third-wheeling
I sang him a lovely rendition of 'So Long and Thanks For All the Fish", but replaced fish with dick.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
After we hooked up, his roommate shouted "I LIKE TO HAVE SEX TOO" from across the apartment
There's not really an emoticon that says "I'm sorry I honked your boobs, and that you weren't a fan of that."
Randomize
