I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
So im guessing you dont remember the walk home, where you layed down in the alley and began to sing "threes company too" and when i told you to get up you had the nerve to tell me i was to drunk.
"guaranteed dick" "anywhere - her room, my room, trees, couch"
Sorry that was quotes about you from the grad student.
Can we do a version of last night where I actually remember shit?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
drinking right out of the bottle and nobody bats an eye.
its good to be home.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
Sunday mornings are confusing. Like. I can't decide if I want to go for a run or start drinking
He did 5 five hand stand push ups and took off his shirt for a barbarian flex. Some girl took off her shirt and threw it at him
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He tried to buy me a drink at dollar beer night. All 3 of his credit cards were declined, so he asked me if I could cover it. Needless to say, I'm not calling him back.
Just leave a note saying "riding dick see you in the mornig"
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
He took me out to dinner to tell me we had to stop fucking so randomly
Honestly wish he pleased me as much as queso does
My plan to hit on all your friends went to shit after the 3rd dirty martini.
I had more orgasms than hours of sleep this weekend. I’m going to keep him around a while
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