So I just found panties on our kitchen floor that had a slit in the vagina section. Does that mean shes open for sex, or she has a penis?
party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I just used a tire swing as a toilet. I think I'm gonna pass out here so I can see the look on the first kid who uses it in the morning.
I am intoxicated and cannot bring you a burrito. However, if you want to bring ME one...
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
I feel like I ran a fucking marathon on my knees last night and there are bruises to prove it.
Turns out I was the only one drinking. I broke one guy's bed and kicked another in the face. Then when an RA came by I shouted to let him in he's gonna find the vodka anyway. Great night
I think i just threw up blood. i can't chill right now;
First time on E and Chris took me to a petsmart during puppy day. I might die of pure awesomeness.
its amazing there are so many photos of me and him separately, since most of that party time was spent sneaking away to fuck upstairs...
I was about to attempt a citizen's arrest on my RA
He walked away from the girl that just blew him to hook up with another girl, and when she got pissed he just turned around and screamed, "SHE IS LIKE 10X HOTTER THAN YOU!" Then she went on an angry dick sucking rampage. There were 4 victims.
My new boobs got me 12 drinks at the concert. Whose the real winner here?
i was so blazed last night that i kept imagining a talking eagle sitting next to me encouraging me to smoke more... i listened to it.
Just woke up to the cat unconscious on my stomach, his face between my tits, purring to bring down the walls. I'm endeared and horrified at the same time.
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