Is it just me, or does Colt McCoy look like Herbie the Dentist from "Rudolph the Red-nosed Reindeer"?
This is one of those times where I really wish my vagina could tell me what happened last night.
The couch is in the bathroom. I don't understand how that is even possible. I couldnt even fit that shelf thingy through the door. Come help. I am about to pee my pants.
I tried...failed..now im naked on the futon since clothes are hard.
I have vodka soaked strawberries. My latest tarot card reading hinted at a lesbian/bisexual coming out. I doubt I survive the night.
When you and Blake get an apartment I want you to buy this Costco couch I'm currently passing out on.
Found an old burrito under my bed
You are a sick fuck
I'm running on two hours of sleep, a shot of vodka, and half of a granola bar. I can't be held responsible for what I do.
Your resume just got faxed, I also modified it a bit and sent it to strip clubs...expect weird phone calls...
Well we had to pull over on a side street in town so I could throw up while moms were driving by with car loads of kids, I feel like I just performed a lil silent AA film for the childrens
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
we got cupcakes after we fucked. gives a whole new meaning to sugar daddy
It's not even 7 yet. She's singing you are my sunshine to the smirnoff bottle.
So drunk me is not subtlety trying to get her boss to cheat on her husband and have a lesbian affair with me. Sober me is ok with that.
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
Randomize
