What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
In debating whether or not it's worth getting out of bed and walking 5 feet down the hallway to go to the bathroom before I puke
craigslist free llama. are you in or are you in?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
hiding in a bush to avoid a seven dollar cab ride. cabby got out a flashlight and looked for us for like an hour. help.
You scratched my dick last night. It deserves an apology and I fell that actions speak louder than words when it comes to apologies like this.
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
I want what they have, but in the meantime I have a whole bottle of rum to which I'm quite devoted
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Apparently HR frowns upon current employees introducing themselves to the new employee as "Hi I'm sleeping with your cousin"
This is worse than naked and afraid. This is drunk and confused.
Sometimes you just gotta get high and go to a planetarium. Why can't he understand that?
In other news, my ex fuck buddy is a surprisingly good wingman.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Yes. I had to slow down my handjob so he would last...-and I give shitty handjobs to begin with
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