when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
my phone is just a graveyard for last nights mistakes. at least it's giving me hints as to where i was though, i'm like carmen sandiego
Whatever, you were 10 deep and there was a hot tub. No judgment.
I never said you were fat, just too fat for ME
its a saturday night. im home alone watching legally blonde, eating week old birthday cake and drinking milk out of the carton. so yeah im doing real well
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
Haha, apparently they frown upon male strippers there. Bouncers couldn't catch me tho.
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
As I was sneaking out of his house last night his moms lover was sneaking in, he held the door for me...
Someone just asked me if I was chewing red hot gum.... I'm LITERALLY SWEATING OUT FIREBALL.
Don't forget to make sex 3rd on your calander
MY HAND WILL BE UP HIS ASS IF HE DOES NOT APOLOGIZE FOR WHAT HE DID. IT WON'T BE THE GOOD-FEELING KIND OF "HAND-UP-ASS" EITHER.
They both showed up at the same time... to surprise me. One had flowers and the other had chocolates. Needless to say, I will be at the bar all weekend long trying to figure out how this happens.
Can u pick me up? Lost my keys.
Sure. FYI- you "lost" them on the roof, trying to throw them over the house.
I think i got beer on your cat.
Randomize
