He ignores my calls like im some kind of stalker chick
Ive only called 5 times
I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
like in an apt above a crackhead. A LEGIT CRACKHEAD. he woke me up every morning this week asking me if I wanted to buy a mini fridge and some CDs. at 5 am. EVERY DAY.
If I come over right now will you promise to distract your grandpa in the morning so I don't have to do the walk if shame with 1940's style judgement?
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
pretty sure I just got a "sorry I have a new boyfriend" blow job. Confused, but totally ok with it.
Well since your going through her phone..look man she loves you..she just loves my dick more
I wonder if a fish could survive in vodka
I could
My suggestion is that you just get high and set shit on fire
I guess my vagina missed him because it called and left a 5 min. message. Color me impressed
I think were only still together so we can make each other miserable
He texts me "just to say hi" and then tells me how hard he is and sends me a dick pic. And I'm like, dude, I'm ordering a burrito right now
i just took a huge shit in old main. i think my college bucketlist is finished.
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Randomize
