DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
We just shotgunned beers for America
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Casually brushing the Bacardi out of my hair. It's a good time to ponder regretting everything that happened last night.
I have chafed skin from the handy she gave me. I told her that and she said return the favor when it heals. I'm in love.
And regarding bottomless mimosas stopping at 1 pm, there was a chick who drove her car into the back of the bar. Blame that bitch, not you peeing in the koi pond.
note: just because the casino is called bourbon street, it doesn't mean you can puke and keep walking and no one will care. chalk me up for another 86
There is a severe lack of banging on that itinerary... I'd like a revision on my desk within the hour
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I'm gonna be late for work because i decided to masturbate and forgot to put my clothes in the dryer
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