It's like that depressing moment when you drop your cocaine in the snow.
I'm still not walking right. We need some boundaries for "drink-or-dare"...
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
Did you get the "i have a yeast infection from that wet frat bathroom floor" text?
Josh has a goal of being naked in every RAs room this year. He's already 3/11.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
I was grossed out that all their candles smelled like vagina and then I remembered where my fingers had been.
I think I'm making a tradition of going to every funeral with at least one sex-related bruise. I don't know how this happened.
Turns out I hooked up with a chick who has lupus. I don't know if that's a bucket list thing or not, but it's now on mine. Check.
It took years to build this empire of casual fuckings and not carings.
Ever the responsible adult, I just realized that today is the Obamacare deadline, but I'm too high to handle insurance now.
he apologises profusely for spelling mistakes in his texts but doesn't care about cheating on me. priorities
Just fell off my bed trying to pose and take a nude for you. Probably broke my wrist
I will read books by day and do guys by night. A mental and physical enlightenment, if you will.
Remember, I smoked so you wouldn't have to. I'm like the Jesus of Marijuana.
Randomize
