I'm surrounded by dudes and fupa's! No hot chicks...wtf!?
Medical industry, most hot chicks dont want to deal with blood + shit
Just ran interference for her again. Sometimes i wonder how many times in my life i'll have to be a cock block at the clinic
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
When you passed out on the kitchen counter she brushed and flossed your teeth, then carried/dragged you to bed. Why aren't you married?
Dude. I legit missed class because I got too engrossed in the porn I was watching. Also I need to figure out how to get as flexible as these chicks. Some of the positions they do are outrageous.
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
We're only going to be this young and this cute but for so long. And how often is it that a pack of Albanian law students is in your house?!
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Well she just asked a sorority girl if she should fuck her floor mate so it's basically like the blind leading the blind
Operation rebound complete... I fucked the bouncer
I wrote myself a letter, like I think drunk me wants to be pen pals or something
this is gentle reminder #1 not to forget to bring the vibrator when you come
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
One day no one will want to send me dick pics so by all means keep 'em coming
Randomize
