Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
They have to be talking about me. I never heard that statement until I was born.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
I got a lot accomplished today, and the day is still young! I built a fort, hot boxed a fort, had a tea party in a fort, and now realizing how high I am.
Puked in my laptop case in the middle of my nutrition class.
Just had a flashback of you announcing "your nipples aren't that big for the size of your boobs, I've seen them"
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
I'll have my hookups make my March Madness picks. Win my bracket, win my heart. That's how it works right?
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
what's your room number? I've never been there sober...
Woke up this morning with girl, I ask her for some gum. She says "there's a guest toothbrush for the boys in my bathroom". I can't decide whats worse, that she has a shack brush or that I actually used it
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
I woke up in a beaver hat and contruction vest.. I need answers.
I just don't know how to say "I want to have sex you with before you graduate" in a classy way
I'm classy like audry Hepburn. Chugging wine out of the bottle on the way to the club. Shed do that. I know she would.
Randomize
