The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
Tipsy and thinking of you. Talk tomorrow. My alliteration is awesome.
it was like my fingers were behind enemy lines
I may have a concussion but the symptoms are the same as a hangover so I can't tell. Best 21st ever.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
The cardboard box in my backseat wasn't strong enough to keep your pee contained. Come clean my car.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
All I know is....there's beer in my camera. How do I know? Because I can pick up my camera,shake it and HEAR, the beer in it
I'm watching him slurp a whole mango out of her hand. It's disturbingly arousing.
You threw my heel at her from across the street... And hit her in the back of the head so hard she face planted into the street. I need more friends like you.
This is the first time I'm hearing this information.
How do we stop her downward spiral?
Wine. For us.
Drunk is not a location!
I made him cum so hard he couldn't play video games for like an hour. I've never been more proud of myself.
I don’t understand his energy
What? Nice? Lmao
I just put together something from IKEA so that’s mandatory oral for a week.
Randomize
