OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
Thats the last time I go out drinking with my Irish friends. Two shots of flaming sambucca = bar on fire. I was only trying to high five the barman.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
He gave me a promise ring. He promised that he will imagine me as every girl he fucks in college.
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
You know that joke about taking tylenol pm and jerking off? you don't always win. sometimes you wake up in the morning naked lubed up cock in hand to the realator and would be perspective buyers laughing at you
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Within the hour, he sent me 8 texts and 4 voice memos. One of the memos was just him whistling for 3 minutes. ...It's official, I attract the crazies.
I'm so fucking horny right now If I blink I might cum
My tub is filled with twinkies which would be awesome if they were still wrapped and not floating in a mixture of bath water and what appears to be vomit.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
We just fucked like crazy and now I'm dipping chips in macaroni & cheese. I feel completely accomplished. This may be the best day ever.
It's very finicky. Like baking. or BDSM.
Randomize
